Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
