Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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