Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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