omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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