apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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