This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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