it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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