Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
