My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The police scanner is talking about you again....
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
