he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
