I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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