It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I need water and some morals
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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