you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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