Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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