There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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