i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
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