my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
