he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
