cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
