You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
