You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
