i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize