I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
