you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize