I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
