there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
