Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize