Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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