wrigley field is MILF paradise
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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