why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
