i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize