im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
