Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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