I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
