Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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