I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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