he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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