I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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