I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
