only if we run a train.
done.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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