ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize