I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i think my mom watched the whole time
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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