is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
