I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
