did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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