doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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