thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
