I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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