you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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