I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
