She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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