After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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