Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
