Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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