My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just want to make out with him forever
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
