There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
