You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
