Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
