Don't you send me to vm
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
