You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize