K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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