No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
