If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
