I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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