I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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