i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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