I hate all girls vehemently.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
