my vag is so smooth its legendary
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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