If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
