He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
