ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize