Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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