It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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