I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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